Live Grind: How to Fall Asleep at the Table (Without Getting Caught)
Mr Sandbag
Legend
Silver Level
I know your trip was just more of the same downswing, but to put it into perspective, you lost a tourney BI, a bit over 1 BI at 2/5, and a little over 1 BI at 1/3. I know it could have been much better, but it also could have been MUCH worse.
Regarding your BR, it's gross that it's down to 3k. Still not bad though if you think about it. You took trips to Foxwoods and Vegas, used $2k for life stuff, and you're in a deep downswing. Sucks that you lost such a huge chunk of your BR and I'd feel the same exact way, but on the bright side, the fact that you still have a decent roll for 1/2 is awesome.
Ditt what duggs said. When you start making a steady living, you won't be so attached to the money you use for poker and might actually start playing better and feeling better mentally.
Good luck with the new job!
Regarding your BR, it's gross that it's down to 3k. Still not bad though if you think about it. You took trips to Foxwoods and Vegas, used $2k for life stuff, and you're in a deep downswing. Sucks that you lost such a huge chunk of your BR and I'd feel the same exact way, but on the bright side, the fact that you still have a decent roll for 1/2 is awesome.
Ditt what duggs said. When you start making a steady living, you won't be so attached to the money you use for poker and might actually start playing better and feeling better mentally.
Good luck with the new job!
Matt Vaughan
King of Moody Rants
Bronze Level
Thanks guys. Appreciate the love and support.
Traveling back from Vegas sucked something awful since I took a red eye flight and barely managed any sleep (2.5 hour flight, 2 hour layover, 40 minute flight = not much sleep). I got in, dropped my stuff and crashed for about 4 hours here. I woke up still exhausted but I'm forcing myself to stay awake so I can go to bed early and wake up for work tomorrow.
Despite being completely worn down, I feel better. As Sand says, Vegas was pretty whatever in terms of actual amounts. Lost about 2.7 actual cash buyins or whatever, but the 1k toward tourney was obviously just a longshot, one-time sort of thing. (Although in retrospect, lasting almost through level 7 probably put me ahead of more than 75+% of the field, since only about 900/4,500 even made it to Day 2, and only 8 levels were played on Day 1.) It definitely has more to do with the sustained swing than the shorter term stuff from Vegas. Like Vegas alone would have been bad, but tack it on the end of a terrible 2 months, and feels worse. But in reality I kind of ran in god mode toward the start of 2014, so I may not even be that far below EV, in a sickening kind of way lol.
And the 2k out of my BR to pay for life stuff was kind of a long time coming too. It was bound to happen since I haven't even had a part-time job since last summer. And hell, I just paid for my security deposit, first month's rent, and a few other expenses using poker winnings. WINNINGS. Yeh I might be on the worst downswing of my life (by far, I might add), but I just spent like 5k or whatever for RL and poker expenses on top of my downswing and I'm not in debt. So that's something to feel grateful for I suppose.
Hack's statements about already being in the top .01% of people on earth in terms of rungood did resonate with me. Basically I'm already running better than 99.99% of people just by being born into my overall circumstances (place, economic situation, good home, etc). So "running bad" in poker is nothing.
I know this post is a bit flip-floppy with the last one. I'm definitely still hurting from my results, and I think starting my job and getting to throw myself and my focus at that will be a solid, healthy way to begin clearing my head. A break from the sustained focus on just poker (and apartment hunting 'swell) will be good for me.
To reiterate, I'm absolutely NOT done with poker. It's something I've poured not just my time and energy, but also my SELF into in a really deep way. It's hard to describe, but poker isn't just a game for me. It's influenced how I think about strategy problems, how I think about real life EV and equity situations, and it's introduced me to some amazing people, a number of whom are obviously active in this thread.
I can't give it up, and that's not in a "problem-gambling" kind of way, but more in a "this is part of who I am" kind of way. I'm probably phrasing this poorly, and that may come across as sad, but poker is ingrained in how I go about things now, and I don't want that to change. It's a hobby, sure, but it's more than that too.
If no other positive came about from Vegas, there was this one: I felt extremely at home on that felt. Particularly in the Little Drop, but at the cash games as well, I was playing very near the height of my ability - despite not having a sustained grind recently - and I was not even close to outclassed. Yes, I had good table draws, and yes I was only playing a $1k tournament and 1/3 and 2/5. But frankly, I am definitely still a favorite in those games, and I loved being on that felt, and feeling a relative amount of control.
I'll leave it there, since I've got to run some errands before tomorrow, but maybe I'll get to posting some hands tomorrow. Not too many interesting spots in 1/3, but I had a couple hands of note in 2/5 that I want to post in here. A couple mistakes, probably, but also a couple hands I'm quite proud of myself for playing in a way I wouldn't have been capable of say, a few months ago. Cheers for now, and thanks for following along with me for my rollercoaster. As always, it's a helluva a ride.
Traveling back from Vegas sucked something awful since I took a red eye flight and barely managed any sleep (2.5 hour flight, 2 hour layover, 40 minute flight = not much sleep). I got in, dropped my stuff and crashed for about 4 hours here. I woke up still exhausted but I'm forcing myself to stay awake so I can go to bed early and wake up for work tomorrow.
Despite being completely worn down, I feel better. As Sand says, Vegas was pretty whatever in terms of actual amounts. Lost about 2.7 actual cash buyins or whatever, but the 1k toward tourney was obviously just a longshot, one-time sort of thing. (Although in retrospect, lasting almost through level 7 probably put me ahead of more than 75+% of the field, since only about 900/4,500 even made it to Day 2, and only 8 levels were played on Day 1.) It definitely has more to do with the sustained swing than the shorter term stuff from Vegas. Like Vegas alone would have been bad, but tack it on the end of a terrible 2 months, and feels worse. But in reality I kind of ran in god mode toward the start of 2014, so I may not even be that far below EV, in a sickening kind of way lol.
And the 2k out of my BR to pay for life stuff was kind of a long time coming too. It was bound to happen since I haven't even had a part-time job since last summer. And hell, I just paid for my security deposit, first month's rent, and a few other expenses using poker winnings. WINNINGS. Yeh I might be on the worst downswing of my life (by far, I might add), but I just spent like 5k or whatever for RL and poker expenses on top of my downswing and I'm not in debt. So that's something to feel grateful for I suppose.
Hack's statements about already being in the top .01% of people on earth in terms of rungood did resonate with me. Basically I'm already running better than 99.99% of people just by being born into my overall circumstances (place, economic situation, good home, etc). So "running bad" in poker is nothing.
I know this post is a bit flip-floppy with the last one. I'm definitely still hurting from my results, and I think starting my job and getting to throw myself and my focus at that will be a solid, healthy way to begin clearing my head. A break from the sustained focus on just poker (and apartment hunting 'swell) will be good for me.
To reiterate, I'm absolutely NOT done with poker. It's something I've poured not just my time and energy, but also my SELF into in a really deep way. It's hard to describe, but poker isn't just a game for me. It's influenced how I think about strategy problems, how I think about real life EV and equity situations, and it's introduced me to some amazing people, a number of whom are obviously active in this thread.
I can't give it up, and that's not in a "problem-gambling" kind of way, but more in a "this is part of who I am" kind of way. I'm probably phrasing this poorly, and that may come across as sad, but poker is ingrained in how I go about things now, and I don't want that to change. It's a hobby, sure, but it's more than that too.If no other positive came about from Vegas, there was this one: I felt extremely at home on that felt. Particularly in the Little Drop, but at the cash games as well, I was playing very near the height of my ability - despite not having a sustained grind recently - and I was not even close to outclassed. Yes, I had good table draws, and yes I was only playing a $1k tournament and 1/3 and 2/5. But frankly, I am definitely still a favorite in those games, and I loved being on that felt, and feeling a relative amount of control.
I'll leave it there, since I've got to run some errands before tomorrow, but maybe I'll get to posting some hands tomorrow. Not too many interesting spots in 1/3, but I had a couple hands of note in 2/5 that I want to post in here. A couple mistakes, probably, but also a couple hands I'm quite proud of myself for playing in a way I wouldn't have been capable of say, a few months ago. Cheers for now, and thanks for following along with me for my rollercoaster. As always, it's a helluva a ride.
Mr Sandbag
Legend
Silver Level
Agree with everything you said, especially the stuff about putting everything into perspective (life and poker). I think that's one thought that's helped me whenever I felt depressed about the game. We may not ever be the best in the world, and we may never be able to get our sole income from poker like the star players. But shit, we've found a hobby where we can actually make a significant amount of money just by doing something we love, whereas most hobbies involve spending way more than one would profit from them. How f**king sick is that?
Jillychemung
Stacks & Stacks
Loyaler
I can attest that this is HUGE! I've had a number of 'hobbies' over the 35+ years that I've been an adult and this poker hobby has all the other beat hands down!
Matt Vaughan
King of Moody Rants
Bronze Level
So..... tilted........... https://www.cardschat.com/forum/tournament-poker-59/tournaments-expected-value-247552/
Matt Vaughan
King of Moody Rants
Bronze Level
That thread doesn't look like a train wreck to you?!?!?!
Unless you meant my thread lol. I've just been at work for my first two days, so no poker really (although I did watch Rounders tonight and am itching to griiiiiiiind).
Edit: Unless you're saying that you've seen the thread listed before and had avoided dropping in lol... Prob a good call but ffs. The guy thinks the long run doesn't exist in tournament poker because the blinds go up - ie no long run in an individual tournament. No shit! Just like you don't get to the long run in a single cash game session ffs... I'M ACTUALLY TILTED BY THIS WTFFFF
Unless you meant my thread lol. I've just been at work for my first two days, so no poker really (although I did watch Rounders tonight and am itching to griiiiiiiind).
Edit: Unless you're saying that you've seen the thread listed before and had avoided dropping in lol... Prob a good call but ffs. The guy thinks the long run doesn't exist in tournament poker because the blinds go up - ie no long run in an individual tournament. No shit! Just like you don't get to the long run in a single cash game session ffs... I'M ACTUALLY TILTED BY THIS WTFFFF
Jillychemung
Stacks & Stacks
Loyaler
xdeucesx
Bar Master
Silver Level
thread certainly delivers lollll
Matt Vaughan
King of Moody Rants
Bronze Level
Glad I could make everyone's day lol. I was prob too harsh on the guy but I was honestly a bit tilted by his OP and his first reply to me.
Anywho, I still hoping to keep to my word and post a couple hands from my Rio games, but starting up work has been crazy and right now I'm running out to eat and then possibly go pick up a couple things from somebody's moving-away sale.
Anywho, I still hoping to keep to my word and post a couple hands from my Rio games, but starting up work has been crazy and right now I'm running out to eat and then possibly go pick up a couple things from somebody's moving-away sale.
Matt Vaughan
King of Moody Rants
Bronze Level
Honestly pretty boring so far. It's all generic orientation stuff. But in theory that's just the first week, so I'll start doing somewhat more important tech training next week, then get into role-specific training the week after.
Matt Vaughan
King of Moody Rants
Bronze Level
Orientation is one week, 2nd week is basically more advanced orientation. Then training/classes last up to 6 months. It's self-paced, so you can finish whenever you finish, but you have to pass exams. Most people take 3.5-5 months appaz.
stately7
Rock Star
Silver Level
hey y'all - vegas trip sounds brutal Scourrge, but agree with Sand and Duggs, it'll be in perspective soon enough with cash flow coming in from your new job, all the best with settling in and then crushing cash once again.
Will try post more in all the threads - apols, been super busy with work, grinding 1/2 live, and watching A LOT of awesome WCup in brazil (well from Sydney, not Rio).
Will try post more in all the threads - apols, been super busy with work, grinding 1/2 live, and watching A LOT of awesome WCup in brazil (well from Sydney, not Rio).
Matt Vaughan
King of Moody Rants
Bronze Level
Not sure if needling or...?
Thanks for following, and thanks for the flattery (need some of it amidst the people insinuating things about my employment lol). I'm working on an EDI team for a healthcare software company.
BenjiHustle
Legend
Silver Level
No, I mean, you're good enough to play poker and poker provides the opportunity to make unlimited money on a schedule that is written by you which is infinitely valuable in itself. As such, I think it's a valid question.