The Biggest Pot of My Life
There's some good news, and some bad news. Differentiating them is hard, so I don't think I'm going to try to suuuuuuuper explicitly. So I'll just do cliffs at the beginning so you know what you have to look forward to if you read on:
- Snowstorm in PA means I couldn't visit my gf for valentine's day weekend
- Played da pokerz instead
- Called the clock on a guy when I had the virtual nuts
- Guy got mad and made a big deal of it for the next couple hours
- Guy finally goes broke and leaves
- Played the largest pot of my life tonight, and lost
- Don't feel all that awful about it
If I'm being honest about it, starting to write about it is making some of the negative feelings about seeing such an enormous swing return. But overall I still feel okay. Certainly not heartbroken (lol), and ready to move forward. But now, on to some
hands.
The kind of stupid thing about tonight is that I was involved in seemingly a million interesting pots. I coolered a few people, I got coolered a bunch, I made a crap ton of decent laydowns, and just overall was playing awesome. Then I got a couple sets and somehow got paid off while a bit deep by an otherwise competent reggish type. At my worst I was down $200ish, and at my best I was up $500. I ended the session +$61. Oh and yeah, if I'd won the BIG pot of the night? I'd have been up a whopping $1,200.
Basically, it was a Friday night:
Preflop:
I've straddled after seeing a few in a row do so, and there are 4 limpers to me. I make it $25, and the initial UTG limper calls. Everyone else folds, and we go HU to the flop.
Flop: ($60) (2 players)
It's pretty dry, so I cbet $30, and villain quickly calls. No reads, no history, no nothing.
Turn: ($120) (2 players)
Pretty much the perfect barrel card. Overcard to the board, and also gives me a flush draw. I bet $65, and villain calls quickly again.
River: ($380) (2 players)
BINK. I catch my miracle card and bet to put villain in for his last $80 or so. He calls, I show, and the table explodes with talk of how lucky I just got.
Villain muttered something about having a Q, and I had to force down the urge to chuckle - he only had a Q? So I was for sure ahead preflop and on the flop... Apparently that was irrelevant though because I sucked out from the turn to the river. Oh well. I proceeded to win a couple more mid-sized pots, and was quickly up to about $460 from my $200 buyin. The next hand sparked the controversy and conflict that would disquiet the table for the following 3 hours:
Preflop:
UTG+1, a tight-ish reg opens to $12, and gets one MP caller whose tendencies I don't know, but who definitely plays at the casino a lot. I flat on the button - I'm approximately $300 effective with UTG+1 and about $80 effective with the other villain.
Flop: ($35) (3 players)
UTG+1 bets $15, and MP calls. I bump it to $40. UTG+1 calls fairly quickly. MP goes deep into the tank. I'm patient at first, watching the villains out of my peripherals. About 3 minutes in, I start to get a little impatient, but I remind myself that I have the effective nuts. Around 4 minutes into this guy's tank, I notice other players at the table beginning to shift and fidget with impatience. After approximately 5 minutes, I call the clock on MP. The floor comes over, and the guy starts throwing a fit. He's told that he has a minute to make his decision or his hand will be dead. He takes about 10 seconds after this announcement to
turn his hand face up as he throws it down on the table. He had AJo.
Turn: ($130) (2 players)
UTG+1 checks to me, and I make it $65. UTG+1 folds.
I had tried not to make a big deal out of the MP villain deliberately exposing his hand with pending action, but I was frustrated, especially when the UTG+1 villain told me that he'd seen "one of his outs" in the exposed hand.
What followed next was one of my proudest times though. The MP villain began addressing me from across the table, saying things like "this isn't a tournament, this is a cash game!" and "I guarantee no one on this table calls the clock on you today." He was just overall being aggressive, and downright rude. A few times he tried to garner support from the players near him, with "right?!" But they'd mostly just look noncommittally in other directions. It seemed clear that no one else thought I'd been in the wrong, and I'd mostly called the clock for the benefit of the table, rather than my own EV.
The MP villain proceeded to throw a hissy fit, talking about me and how I played. The essence of his "argument" (in quotes, because I said nothing in reply) was that I just "raise big cards and bet huge - that's not poker!!!" He called me a bum, and at this point, the current dealer drew the line, saying they wouldn't allow it to continue. The player, now quite agitated, said that he hadn't meant any offense, but that he was talking about my cards. Another player had tried to calm him down by saying that calling the clock was my right, and I was just trying to get in his head. The clock-villain then tried to use this in reverse, saying something alone the lines of "I'm doing my psychological thing now too." Still I was saying nothing. It seemed he was freaking himself out more than me. I refused to make eye contact with him, and I said nothing in reply.
The floor was finally called over, and the clock-villain was given a talking to. In the meantime, this hand happened:
Preflop:
UTG makes it $8, and from UTG+1 I bump it to $25. I get 3 callers somehow, and we go to the flop 4 ways.
Flop: ($95) (4 players)
I hate every option aside from betting, so when it was checked to me, I made it a reasonable $50. It folded back to UTG, who thought for a few moments before calling.
Turn: ($195) (2 players)
Not the best card, since I think there are a lot of Axss and other spade hands that villain can have here. I opt to check behind, since I also have the Ks, and should be able to make better decisions on rivers.
River: ($195) (2 players)
For all intents and purposes I think this is a blank, since villain shouldn't have any gutshots that call the flop, and I think we can discount 99 a little based on the flop play. But at the same time, when villain checks again I'm a little concerned. I don't know if I have a bit of a read on him and don't realize, but something feels off, and I opt to check behind. Villain sheepishly shows JJ, for a flopped boat, and I muck.
It's hard to say much about the KK hand, because I just didn't feel comfortable betting the river. Whether it was correct from a strategic standpoint is sort of moot, since I just didn't think it was right in the moment. But again, I'm not really sure if it was something in the villain's body language that had me on edge more than his betting line concerned me (though x/c, x, x river is a little weird with something as strong as AJ - he might be polarized to the nuts and random stuff I beat that won't call a bet).
A few hands later, there were a few limpers to me and I bumped it big with AQs. I got a few callers, flopped top 2 on a two tone board and got it in on the flop vs. an $100ish short stack (UTG+1 from the TT hand) and couldn't hold against his flush draw.
The clock-villain continued his ranting. Some of it was directed at me directly, but he was also getting snippy with the dealer (a new one by now) and he basically yelled at the player on his immediate right when she offered to chop the blinds. He had another talk with another floor person.
I was still refusing to make eye contact with the flop villain, since I wanted to be respectful, keep my cool, and hopefully let him just boil over and calm back down. Unfortunately, the strategy didn't seem to be doing much, though it felt good to have control over myself and my emotions. It's not easy to just sit there and take verbal abuse from a stranger - especially one who took 5 minutes to fold a gutshot to a flop raise and then bitched about it for the next hour. It was about this time that another spot came up:
Preflop:
I open to $12 UTG, and get 3 callers.
Flop: ($45) (4 players)
I'm second to act, and when it's checked by the BB (same guy from KK hand), I bet $30. It folds around to the BB, who thinks a bit, and calls.
Turn: ($105) (3 players)
Pretty inconsequential card, since villain probably doesn't have much 6x in his range, nor will it scare any Jx in his range into folding. BB checks, and I make a $60 value bet. BB tanks for a little while, and finally check raises to $160. It should be noted that at this point, the clock-villain, from across the table starts cheering on "pops" (the BB was middle-aged), and kind of jeering at me. A new dealer is now at the table and has no idea what's going on. The clock-villain is begging the BB to call the clock on me within 15 seconds of the BB check-raising. I try to keep my head on straight and think through the hand. I don't put villain on all that much 6x, but 99 is absolutely in his range, and since he's the same one from the KK hand, I expect he'd take a more aggro line this time around vs. me if he had a real hand. Plus, I just don't think he'd take a--
"CLOCK!!!!" The clock-villain breaks through my thought process and for the first time in an hour I look directly at him.
The clock-villain looks deranged. His eyes are wide as he confronts the dealer, and continues shouting "I call the clock!! I wanna call the clock!! Call the clock on him!!"
I'd been thinking for only about 45 seconds so far, and the dealer calmly told the clock-villain that she was not going to call the floor - I'd not had enough time yet. I tried to continue on with my thought process, but the flow was lost. I managed to piece together one last coherent thing: this villain doesn't have air here ever. Do I beat anything but air? No. Okay, I fold.
The dealer called the floor over to have another talk with the clock-villain, as the BB disappointedly told me I'd made a good lay down. I believed him.
The next hour or so was frustrating, but also strangely gratifying. I had finally retaliated after the clock-villain had tried to call the clock on me. The clock-villain made a big deal out of the dealer not honoring his "request" for the clock, and I had said something about only thinking for a minute, and that when I called the clock on him, I hadn't been shouting at him while he was trying to think. After that I pushed myself to relax mentally, as the session was starting to drag on my psyche. Even with that one retaliatory outburst, I'd remained impressively calm, in the face of outrageous and uncalled for abuse. But little did I know it was going to get worse.
When the seat to my immediate right opened up, the clock-villain moved to it. I was in the middle of a hand with a decent reg at the time. I ignored the clock-villain completely and focused on the hand. What I noticed out of my peripheral vision when the hand was over was almost too much - the clock-villain was literally staring me down. I'm talking no blinking, no moving. I couldn't help it. I laughed.
It was the first time I'd smiled in about 2 hours, and it felt surprisingly good. Some of that no doubt came from the fact that it was at the expense of someone who'd been giving me shit for hours now. He eventually looked away after I played another entire hand vs. a reg without so much as glancing to my right.
It didn't come as much of a surprise when, after more abuse to dealers, and the 4th visit from the floor, the clock-villain was politely asked to leave, and then politely escorted by security to the poker-room cage, and then downstairs.
There was a tangible relaxation in the air when he was gone, and I noticed that some of my back and neck muscles had been tense for pretty much 3 hours straight. It was also around this time that I made a comeback from my low point:
Preflop:
Tightish, decent-so-far player makes it $10 UTG, and I flat, 2 seats later. 3 others join us and we go the flop 5-way.
Flop: ($50) (5 players)
It checks to UTG, who bets $35. I'm next to act, and realize that UTG basically has to have an overpair. He's competent, and this is a tough board to cbet with air into 4 people. Even with AKdd I think there's a chance he will just check and call on the flop. I also think it's possible people have draws, and that some of them will pay significantly more to draw to them, so I bump it to $85 instead of just calling. The BTN snap folds, the SB snap goes all in for $92 total, and the BB snap-calls all in for less (about $30). UTG tanks for a while, and finally folds. I snap call of course.
I ended up holding - even when the turn brought a third diamond - against JJ and an unknown hand. UTG claimed he folded QQ, which seemed likely to me. The comeback was on, and I was back in the black. But it was only a few hands later when I made my comeback even larger:
Preflop:
The table is pretty loose passive now, and not many people are raising limped pots, so I opt to limp in from UTG+1. 3 others follow suit, and the BB, (the preflop raiser from the 88 set hand) bumps it to $17. I think this is very close, and I nearly folded. But I expect one or two other callers if I call, and I again expect that the BB has to have a strong hand. I elect to flat, and 2 others flat along with me.
Flop: ($65) (4 players)
BINGO. This is literally the perfect flop for me. Except for being set-over-setted and draws from people other than the PFR, I have nothing to worry about. BB leads first in on the flop for $60. At this point, I'm nearly drooling. His range is basically QQ+ and AK. AA and AK are the most likely because they always take this line, whereas KK and QQ may check sometimes to try to x-r, and I expect they'd make it a smaller amount as well. I opt to call, because I think a ton of worse hands can call behind me. One other player call,s and we go 3-way to the turn.
Turn: ($245) (3 players)
BB elects to check, and I've now got a pretty interesting decision. I've got both villains covered, where BB has about $170 behind, and the other villain has about $120 behind. I can either check, hoping the villain behind me will jam, or I can get more value on the river. Or I can jam right now. I elect to jam right now, since there are still some draws, and I think this is where I'm most likely to pick off 2 pair hands, though with such small SPR it's unlikely I don't stack 2 pair hands anyway. The villain behind me folds, and the BB thinks only about 10 seconds before calling.
The river pairs the K, having me momentarily worried about KQ, but BB and I both overcome our fears at the same time and turn over AK and 66 respectively. I scoop the pot, and am suddenly up to about $900.
After winning the second set (okay, boat) pot, I took a quick walk to let go of some pent up tension. Upon coming back, I proceeded to go fairly card dead. I 3bet a couple times and picked up dead money with decent hands, but other than that, everything was pretty standard and fold-heavy until this:
Preflop:
2 limpers to me in MP and I opt to over-limp. The BTN, the same non-clock villain from the TT hand, bumps it to $11. Two players call, and I opt to call as well. We go the flop 4-handed.
Flop: ($40) (2 players)
Yup. I flop it. Action checks to me and I decide leading will get me the most value since I can control the size of the pot. I'm about $400 deep with two of the villains, and looking to get max value from AxKs and similar types of hands that the BTN is likely to have. I lead for $30, and am called by the BTN and the SB. The BTN call doesn't surprise me, since he's not folding any ace here, but I'm unsure what the SB's range is. I think primarily Ax and hands that contain a large spade.
Turn: ($125) (3 players)
It crosses my mind that this isn't the best card in the world, since no one is likely holding on with bare 8x, but I also think that 2 pairs and sets pretty much have to raise or x/r a monotone flop. SB checks to me and I bet $90 for value. I'm quickly called by both villains. There are now murmurs going around the table, as the pot has deceptively ballooned up to nearly $400.
River: ($395) (2 players)
SB checks, and I try to slow myself down and THINK, dammit. BTN's line really confuses me. He's not a complete pushover, but he has to have something he thinks is probably good here. And he's not a complete idiot, so he has to KNOW that I have something pretty damn good here---
But too late, I've gone and bet $170. The BTN goes into the tank for a couple minutes, and emerges by shoving all in, for a total of $323. I seethe inwardly. I already know I'm beat. I know instantly upon seeing him push the stacks forward that my river bet was a mistake. That I should have check-called, or probably more correctly, check-folded. There's nothing he bets there that I'm ahead of. And even more so, nothing he raises now that I'm even close to ahead of. The SB pushes all his remaining $130ish in, but his style has been way more erratic, and I'm easily still ahead of his range.
It's much too late for me. I'm in the fog, and no amount of logic, reason, and sanity can pull me out now. I mutter, mostly to myself "you seriously have aces here?"
I hear the BTN say something back with attitude: "You've been betting me out of pots all night - not anymore." It's so obvious it's not even funny. His speech only adds to the strength of his range. It's so obvious that I actually laugh in his face.
"Yeah, you're
bluffing here," I say sarcastically.
"No," he tries to recover, digging his hole deeper - how does he not realize how obvious it is he's got the nuts?! "I've got something decent, but... Come on, you're not going to fold."
He's right. It's only $153 more to me to call. I'm never good though.
The pot is over $1,000 now, how can I possibly-- I'm never good. I'm never good. I'm never never never--
I hear the words come out of my mouth:
"I know I'm beat - but I can't fold."
And I push the chips into the middle.
"Quad eights."
I was stunned in the moment. Angry in the after-moment. I took a one-minute walk and came back to see the villain stacking 450 of my dollars, and another 350 or so from the other villain. It took him 3 more full hands to completely arrange his almost 1.2 THOUSAND dollar stack. Money that was almost mine. That for a brief, brief, instant seemed sure to be headed to me.
It felt kind of like being punched in the gut, except I could breathe. And I knew that instead of it being the puncher's fault, it was mine.
I was left with approximately $370 in my stack - I was in for $400. But that seemed so irrelevant in comparison to the 6-buyin swing that had just occurred in front of my very eyes. I wanted to leave more than anything. Leave while I still felt more angry at my misfortune than I did at myself. But I forced myself to stay. I had to prove something to myself:
As the stab of defeat slowly faded away into a mild stinging sensation, I focused on the game in front of me. I believe I was fortunate in the cards I received at that point of the game. Most of them were relatively easy preflop folds. But in my current state, they were still effortful. I managed to keep myself out of trouble for another few orbits, even winning a medium-sized pot: In a 4-way limped pot I value bet top pair good kicker on a 643r flop, value bet again when they all called and an offsuit K hit the turn, and checked the K river with the intention of calling a river bet from the aggro in position. He bet as I expected, I called when it folded to me, and he showed me exactly what I expected - a 5x hand with no K to go with it.
With that small, but substantial victory, I was $61 in profit on the day, and about 8 hours into my session. It was only about 11:30pm, but I decided that I proven what I needed to prove. I lost an enormous pot, got mad, reigned it back in, and then played tight and solid for about half an hour. I was tired now though. It was time to go.
While I write a lot of this in a story-telling style, and I certainly was mad in the moment, one of the biggest keys here is how well I actually handled all this. In particular, I was dealing with the accumulated emotion from the clock-villain, and not having any major winning sessions in a while. (I've had some wins, but they've all been small, even in hyper +EV situations.) I then proceeded to lose the biggest pot of my life, and the biggest bb-sized pot of my life by FAR. 6-buyin swings just don't happen that much at 100BB buyin $1-$2 games. It's also important to mention that a lot of the money that I actually lost could have been saved by avoiding a massive river error.
But that's okay.
Playing $1-$2 right now isn't about playing perfect. It's about learning how to do so. It's about building a
bankroll while I improve my poker and people skills. And it's about growing. Even though this was objectively one of the worst sessions of my life, I'm coming out of it relatively unscathed. This is huge for me, and I'm both excited and nervous about the implications of that. I am by no means free of tilt, frustration, doubt, and pain. But I'm well on my way.
Something I try to think to myself once in a while, and that I should try to think to myself more regularly, is this: Some day you will run worse than you ever thought possible. You'll make an unforgivable error in the biggest pot of your life. And then it'll happen again. And again.
All I can do is make sure I handle it the best I possibly can, every time I can.
Peace, and thanks for reading.
