I have a problem with my mental game. I wouldn't say I go on tilt. I see bad players playing badly against good players and win and it just drives me nuts, makes me angry instead of just waiting to take advantage of this I just give up and go all in and when I know I am beat hoping to be a luck box. I don't know why I keep doing this. I know I am beat but still do it. Once in a great while I can control it and when I do I have placed 1st in the tourney but I can't always control this. i have the talent to be a winning player I can see that but this mental game issue is beating me. It isn't just in poker that I have this problem I have it in life in general. When things get tough I give up and quit. I go all in when I know I am beat to stop the "feelings" that are not good for me or that I don't want to feel. when it gets tough I give up. I don't know why but I do. what advice can you give me to help overcome this. I know I can't be the only one dealing with this. Thanks for your help.
Great question Neo, thank you for sharing and giving me the opportunity to offer some assistance. Hopefully lots of people will have similar challenges and get to benefit.
In terms of identifying the issue, it could be entitlement, or more likely just a frustration of having to start all over again, rebuild a stack or whatever after losing to bad luck, something outside your control.
Whenever we focus on things that are outside our control it can make things feel impossible, or in many cases just pointless and not worth doing. (this is something poker tests consistently because of the variance involved and its a great training ground for being able to push thru disappointment).
The fixes for this will also be in mental game resets, changing your focus and perspective.
1) Focus on the long run, the big picture, accept that you won't win every game, you will rarely just go win win win to the end, it will be swingy along the path to winning.
2) Acknowledge that when you give into frustration and emotion you are damaging your long run chances for success. Yes, i can often seem pointless because bad luck can come at anytime (but so can good luck). Yet, when you make bad plays you are for sure negatively affecting your chances of winning, and this is something you have control over.
3) Focus on what you can control and accept what you can't. Tell yourself that yes, playing well is not a guarantee for success, but it will improve your chances of getting what you want, even if it takes many tries.
4) Accept the luck factor, that it exists, and decide to play your best regardless of how you are running on any given day or in any given event.
By telling yourself (even talk to yourself out loud) what you need to hear, you can reframe your mind, and focus on what's important, which is making great decisions and letting the results be what they may. By taking this approach things should work out for you just fine in the long run, and it will build your character and resilience which will pay off many times over in your life (this I can promise you 100%!!!)
It's natural to give up when the going is tough, humans don't like pain and they prefer to get it over with, so they can go focus on something else that gives them easy pleasure. But what gives the greatest pleasure is pushing thru this, and transforming yourself into someone who rises to the occasion and is eager to take on any challenge!
Hope that helps, and here are a few more videos you may find helpful
Thanks again for the question, this is my favorite kind of stuff to answer!
And if you want even more help on this topic I highly recommend "The Mental Game of Poker" by Jared Tendler!