There is a saying: "We cannot change the past, but we can create the future." If poker were to interfere with my life, I would stop playing it the moment it started to interfere, and I would not drag it out for many years. If you have lost a lot because of poker, as far as I understand from what you have written, then you do not need to go back to the past, stop playing today, and from tomorrow start a new life, without poker. It is not about poker, it is about addiction, if something interferes with a person's life or causes harm, then you just need to give it up, stop doing it and everything will immediately get better. If a person cannot do this, then he needs to work on himself or contact a specialist who will help him learn to cope with addictions. After all, in the future, some other addiction may take the place of poker and it will again be difficult for a person to overcome it. All this happens inside us, you need to learn to control yourself and the problems will immediately disappear. If I could go back in time, I would play poker exactly the same way as I do today.