Super Bowl commercials are catered to a general demographic to match the game’s wide audience. But what if the advertisers exclusively targeted the poker community?
Today’s big game isn’t just about the battle on the field between the Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers. It’s also about the commercials. Companies spend millions of dollars preparing Super Bowl ads in hopes of increasing brand awareness. Getting a product in front of the 100 million people who watch the Super Bowl each year is powerful.
Imagine how many sales a company could generate from just one catchy ad seen by the largest single-game television audience in American sports? Doritos and Budweiser, along with numerous other popular products, have been featured in Super Bowl commercials over the years.
The Super Bowl has a wide demographic because Super Bowl Sunday is an unofficial holiday in the US. Americans who don’t even like sports watch the big game, often just for the funny commercials or for the party. So, the ads typically target just about anyone watching instead of the usual middle-aged male, which is the NFL’s top demographic.
But what type of commercials would appear during the Super Bowl if poker players were the main viewership demographic? The ads would be much different as you’re about to discover. And probably more interesting.
Noise Cancelling Headphones
Companies that pay for Super Bowl commercials targeted to the poker community should be those that have a product or service of value to poker players.
I’m not one to wear headphones often at the poker table. I like to chat with my opponents and sometimes listening to music can be distracting. But they’re sometimes useful, especially when you’re in a game full of drunks, biased political fanatics, and table captains.
I recently purchased a Beats By Dre headphone mostly for when I play poker. The headphones stay on my neck most of the time. Once some pro-Trump or Liberal mouth-breather starts popping off about how amazing Trump is or how he’s the devil, the headphones go over my ears and then I’m no longer forced to listen to listen to political commentary from people whose opinions are based solely on biases they don’t even realize they have.
And I’m not the only poker player who could benefit from some noise cancelling headphones. Pretty much anyone who despises annoying people — and poker definitely has its fair share (shout out to the drunk woman who spilled her beer all over my chips at Aria the other day) — would love a way to cancel out the annoying opponents.
Debt Collector Service
One thing is certain about some poker players: they don’t like to pay off debts. Over the past couple of years, we’ve heard stories about deadbeat players refusing to pay off a backing loan. Unfortunately, for the individuals who are owed money, there often isn’t much legal recourse they can use to retrieve the money.
But who needs a judge to settle a debt when a little muscle could do the trick? I’m not condoning violence, by any means. Settle your disputes the legal way, and violence is never the answer. With that said, hiring an intimidating presence to collect a debt certainly wouldn’t hurt.
Something tells me if the gentleman in the picture above paid a visit to the player who owes you money, you’d have that cash before dinner. A debt collector service ad would be one of the most beneficial Super Bowl commercials because so many poker pros are owed money.
Las Vegas Tourism Ad
Whether you live in Hershey, Pennsylvania or London, England, every poker player — 24/7 — has one thing on their mind: Vegas and the f*****g Mirage. Las Vegas is the ultimate poker destination for high rollers, low rollers, and everyone in between.
So, what better way to capture the poker audience than a Las Vegas tourism ad? And what a perfect time for some Sin City Super Bowl commercials. Last week, the city unveiled a new slogan to replace its age-old “What happens here, stays here” tag line. The new one — “What happens here, only happens here” — just doesn’t have the same ring, however. But the city might as well use the largest platform — the Super Bowl audience — to promote that new slogan.
Plus, since in this hypothetical scenario where everyone watching the big game is a poker fan, millions of viewers will have at least some interest in visiting Las Vegas.
Hand Sanitizer
One of the drawbacks to live poker is you’ll often face opponents who, apparently, have a some sort of showering phobia. They don’t wash their clothes, hands, or body before sitting down at the table. I’ve sat next to some of the most disgusting human beings during my poker career. It’s like they’re of the belief that deodorant and and soap are illegal in the US.
Due to the lack of cleanliness among some poker players, hand sanitizer companies would be wise to market towards the poker community. Well, at least those of us who care about our hygiene.
Hand sanitizers help fight against the spread of bacteria at the poker table. And, now more than ever, using a hand sanitizer before touching dirty poker chips is important with the spread of the coronavirus.
Food Delivery Service to Poker Rooms
I don’t often eat at the poker table. But there are times when I’m in a good game and dying of starvation in a casino with limited decent food options, either because the food is too expensive — I’m admittedly a cheapskate — or mediocre.
In those instances, it would be nice to have someone deliver a nice meal from a nearby restaurant. And I can’t be the only one who would love it if Uber Eats or some other delivery service marketed directly to the poker community. During the WSOP in Las Vegas, All-American Dave — a healthy food truck — brings tasty and healthy grub right to your table. Wouldn’t it be cool if this type of service was available in poker rooms all over the world, year-round?
